last night in flamenco class, the teacher was going over the dance and was all, omg you guys are doing this like you're in a prison colony, what the hell. you have to be flamenco dancers!! be big! be confident! be over the top!! and she made us do it three times until we were remotely confident-looking enough for her.

i realized in doing it three times, and having to be bigger and more brazen each time, that 1) this is what i love about flamenco but also 2) this is REALLY HARD. as modern american females we're conditioned to be somewhat passive and demure and not call attention to ourselves and certainly to not brag or boast. and every move in flamenco, if you do it right, is I AM SO GREAT, I AM SO GREAT, EVERYONE LOOK AT ME, I'M FABULOUS. it is surprisingly difficult to get past normal tendencies and act that big and brazen and confident.

what's interesting too is that it came from poor and marginalized andalusian gypsies, jews and moors, who had pretty much nothing in the form of money, prestige, or respect. so they started dancing like this. i have to think it helped, because when i leave that class i hold my head higher and probably even strut a little bit.